I had my first Acroshow last week. It was an experience I will never forget. I love the creative aspect of putting the performance together, I love the co-operation, the co-creation and I loved the opportunity for expressing my passion, and for inspiring others.
So much respect for performance artists! There is a lot of focus and effort preparing for a few minutes show. In that moment of debut, there's only going with the flow and that flow might be quite different from what had been rehearsed and repeated many times.
My show conditions were different from the rehearsing ones, really different. At the show, there is ALL the focus of a packed cinema on me and my body is shaking like a leaf. Also, I thought it was a good idea to have some Matcha tea before the show... haha! I didn't know the adrenaline would have been enough to keep me awake. So the caffein in the Matcha (on a caffein free body), coupled with the pressure of show conditions, turned my adrenaline to a scary dose for performing the advance poses I planned.
So I had to skip them and take that decision right in the moment on the stage. My body was doing its own thing! The audience didn't know the original plan so they enjoyed and celebrated the show. It was successful.
However as I came off the stage, I felt like I had just escaped from a near missed disaster. I didn't feel that high and successful. I had the plan in my head of how everything was meant to have flown, and I was attached to my plan/ structure cause I had rehearsed it over and over.
Once I was able to sit with myself, and observe what was going through me, I allowed it and let the feeling move. Then, I saw that the original intention of sharing and inspiring was achieved.
I recognised how there is something else at play when it comes to human creation other than our plan, ideas, or efforts. There is something else that moves through us, takes care of a bigger intention/vision and is beyond our physical control. Recognising the unpredictable/ the unforeseeable, the imperfections of being a human is to honour the original creator. I find home and new opening in that recognition.
I let go of the plan.
I was then able to celebrate and receive the richness that life offers in every moment. I was able to stay open to the flow of life and connected to my deeper intention. This is the place where I consciously create my reality.
In the same way, recentely I had been in a challenging relationship with the intention of deepening my capacity to love. I had practiced and grown with a partner and created a dream, a vision of togetherness, of us. I attached myself to that plan. I attached myself to the physicality of the vision. I made that a priority over the original intention.
Just like with the acro performance, letting go of that vision/the dream with him, allows me to see that I had achieved my intention of freeing my love from limiting believes. I find gratitude and celebration.
Through the power of observation, and allowance of all the feelings, I gift my body and mind the opportunity to process and digest. I breathe and interrupt the mind for a moment, again and again... while sensations, emotions and thoughts move across my awareness with no judgement.
This is a process through which I let go of the stuck energy, "the baggage". I find wisdom in my body. It is my yogic journey of engaging with the world full hearted (with desires and rehearsed plans) while staying connected with, and allowing a bigger picture, the bigger intention.
To stay open to life and to connect with one's deeper intention is to team up with the original creator.
What is your intention on this human journey?